that you know that I am or will conduct myself while you are away, so that you will be proud of me when you return, I will strive to live so that at least you will not have to blush for anything you may hear of my deportment if I should not succeed in raising your feelings of pride; & I will just say here not because I ever think for one moment that you feel any anxiety that I will willfully do anything that you would disapprove but it just came into my mind & you know I write you what ever comes into my thoughts without reserve, that when I am selecting a dress or bonnet or any thing I do it with the thought that you are far away, that evil eyes are always watching missteps & innocent follies to magnify them into crime, so I will try to be just as discreet as you could wish, & I do hope & pray that I may never be allowed to to far forget my duty & my love to you, to betray your confidence in me; you see from my date that this is the anniversary of my birth day, I am 23 today, & I have been thinking over my past life, over a score of years & how much better is the world for my having lived in it, how many broken disconsolate heart have I cheered, how many have I pointed to the Friend that "sticketh closer than a brother" & have I myself always set that example before nonprofessors that was consistant with my professions of Christianity; I fear that if I should be called today to that great rekoning that all these questions would be answered in the negative.  I don't know that I ever thought more deeply on the eve of my birth day that I did on this & went to a very appropriate place too, to draw my thoughts from the world & turn them inward, & O' how much of sin & depravity I find there how very very sinful our lives must appear to a God who can not look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, I hope you will pray that the resolutions that I found to be the rule of my future may be carried out, not in my own strength for that is weakness, but that I may have humility, & may prayer be always "what will Thou, have me to do", O that I would not be such a sloth, that I might have the desire & ability to work to do good.  You wrote a piece of you last letter on the "first Sabbath" of the month, & you right divined my feelings that while sitting there alone, my thoughts did wander away to that soldier of his country & I believe a soldier of the kings of kings, & I always do think of when I enter the little brick church where more than a year ago I was made so happy in your union with the church & a profession of love for him who died for you, keep steadfast in the faith, steward of God is a safe companion for you at all times & the consolation of the gospel will be with you under all circumstances.  I know that I do not feel so anxious about you as if you were not a Christian; I am in the best of health & tolerable good spirit - I will write you in a day or two again.  Mr. B is waiting to take this to the office & the mail will soon leave & I must close, for you will want to get this as soon as possible so good bye dearest.  Every your Mary
